That's A Good Man!

THAT’S A GOOD MAN!
“Behind every Good Black Man are 5 women who wished they had given him a chance!” Miss D.


Why do we women wish for something when we really don’t believe it’s going to come true? Why do we hope for something that will never come into being? Why do we pray with the absence of expectation? What are we really afraid of? I’ve met countless women who say that they want a “good man” who is “God-fearing”, respectful, smart, loves their kids, nurtures them emotionally, spiritually and materially (yes we women can be a tad bit materialistic) kind-hearted, loving and giving. Now, let’s be realistic, a man can have many of the qualities just described but he will definitely have his flaws; as all humans do. However, when we find a man who is good to us (even with his flaws) and truly loves us; why in the hell do we become afraid?
We say we want a “good man” but do we really? I’ve seen many women trade their “good man” in for a man who brings them excitement for a season. So ladies, do we really want a good man or do we want a man that makes us feel good temporarily? I’ve seen the man with no ability to love, disrespectful, emotionally immature, rude, inconsiderate and selfish with the successful, determined, empathetic, giving, loving wife (not to say she does not have her flaws). I wonder, how did he get her? Did she settle? Was she once approached by a few good men in her life time? I think one of the main reasons we women turn down a good man is because he may not come in the package we expect him to come in. Maybe he isn’t 6’ 4” with dark chocolate Morris Chestnut skin and a Mercedes Benz. Maybe he isn’t making 6 figures a year or maybe your good man isn’t even black? Whatever the reason(s) we have all turned down good men and now we’re sitting here looking at sorry Joe Blow saying, “Damn, I should have gave so and so a try!”
We have to look inside ourselves and be honest. We might need to ask ourselves, “Why am I afraid of being treated with respect, love and dignity?” “Do I believe I am are worthy of a man’s love?” Do we truly believe we deserve the best? How have we been programmed to believe/feel we should be treated by a man based off our first relationship with a male-our fathers’? I know from my own personal experience I have turned down good men simply because I believed he should have been slightly more attractive. I have turned down a good man because his body should have had a little more of an athletic built in my opinion. The reality was I was shallow (although I thought I was the “deepest” sista’ around) and deep down inside I doubted if a man could really love me and I doubted if I could actually love a good man in return. I’m not for sure, but I believe that these good men I have turned down have gone on to be with great women who truly appreciate them. I didn’t know how to appreciate a good man because I was so caught up on the physical/surface and all that got me was more men I really didn’t like or men I really didn’t need in my life.
Women next time you find a possible good man don’t be so quick to dismiss him because of surface reasons. You might want to re-consider and ask yourself, “Am I focusing on the surface? Does he have a good heart? Do I believe I deserve to be loved in the right way? Does he treat me like a queen even though he only makes 38,000 dollars a year?” One thing I am for sure, that fine man will turn ugly real fast if he doesn’t treat you right. Be true to yourself and when you ask God for that “good man”, believe he will come, but not in the package you might expect.

Peace, Miss Deliverance