Imagine a woman with a tight red dress on- Dolce and Cabana shoes, fake boobs and really, really big black hair. She has tons of make-up on- the kind that looks caked on and a plain mess. This woman is wearing too much blush, bright red lipstick, fake eyelashes, green contacts, Botox and the make-up on her face doesn’t match the color of her neck (you’ve seen this type of woman). This woman really believes she has it going on. I got one word for her- “Uhhhhh!” (well maybe that’s one sound). This is the way a prideful woman’s spirit looks like. No one really knows what this woman looks like because all the make-up, fake boobs, fake eyelashes and Botox cover up the real her. All one sees is her ugly outward appearance and no one wants to get to know her because her external appearance is so repulsive. Being secure with yourself is great, but I’m not talking about real inner-security; I’m talking about being prideful, feeling superior and making excuses for your errors and/or shortcomings because you lack humility. Pride is ugly, distasteful and it drives men, women, family and friends away.
Let’s take a closer look…
A number of black men have told me that they have met and/or dated too many black women with “bad attitudes”. Some black men have just totally written black women off, saying we have bad attitudes, we’re difficult and it’s a struggle to be with us. Some black men have said black women have tried to control them, what they do and when they do it. Some black men have even said that we’re not submissive and don’t know when to let a conversation/argument go. Can you believe these allegations about us black women? Are we really this way? Well, my answer is yes and no. These complaints are valid; however I believe all women (Black, White, Asian, and Latino) can have a “bad attitude” from time to time. I was talking to one of my black male friends who told me he hadn’t dated a black woman in 7 years, 7 years! I asked him a simple question, “Why?” He begin to tell me that the black women he has met have had bad attitudes and being in a relationship with a black woman is too difficult so instead he dates white and Latina women because he says they’re more easy going, submissive and he doesn’t experience the difficulties being with them like he does when he’s with a black woman. Now being the pro-black woman’s advocate that I am, I told him he has to give black women another chance. All black women don’t have bad attitudes, lack submission and not all of us are difficult. I began to tell him what I believe he is seeing in a lot of black women; and that is the issue of pride.
Many of us black women walk around looking like that description of that over-processed, caked-up woman; an ugly prideful mess. So what is pride and why do so many black women possess it with a badge of honor? Pride is defined by Webster as a “sense of personal superiority”. Pride is the belief that one is superior or better than someone therefore one does not have to compromise, give or be kind or considerate of all considered, “lesser than.” Being prideful is an ugly trait and it is nothing we should be proud of. Now, I do not agree 100% with my friend or other black men who say we have these issues; however I do see what many black men are talking about. Yes, we sista’s are guilty of having bad attitudes, not letting an argument go, being difficult and not knowing when to submit to our man. Yes, it is true, I have had the “bad attitude”, inability to let the argument/discussion go, unwilling to listen to sound advice just because it’s coming from my man and “he’s not going to tell me what to do, because he ain’t my daddy and he aint going control me!” Now I know the ladies I’m talking to have never been guilty of such antics- just me (LOL). Really, why are we black women so prideful? What do we gain by not admitting when were wrong? What do we gain by telling our men “Don’t tell me what to do!” Why do we find it difficult to be submissive and let a man be a man, even if that means letting him make a mistake? Why don’t some of us know how to bite our tongue? Why do we challenge a man’s ego and test his patience? Are we difficult to be with? And finally, why are so many black men completely turned off by black women?
Now everything in balance because black men have their own faults, but just because we don’t like to hear the negative things about ourselves, we can’t just dismiss these complaints as words coming from another “weak brother”. Let’s examine these complaints and if there is validity (which I think there is) lets address these issues; first the issue of the “bad attitude”. I believe black men are referring to the black woman who becomes upset/angry when things don’t go her way, rude remarks/reactions, “smart-mouthing”, sassy and just plain over the top angry, drama-queen. Or a brother approaches you and tries to “holla” and instead of saying “no thank you” you give the rude comment and give off the, “I’m too good for you vibe.” Yes, I have seen this in myself and in my sistas as well. Second complaint, we’re not submissive and we don’t listen. If our man tries to tell us how to do something or not to do something or what we could improve on we become prideful and tell them, “I don’t need your help, stop talking to me.” Yes, many of us black women definitely lack humility.
Third complaint, we don’t know when to let the argument go and let it be. You know what I’m talking about, the sista that just can’t let it go and keeps bringing the situation up, but not for resolution purposes; she just can’t shut up or forgive-yes I’ve seen this too. Fourth complaint, we can’t admit when we’re wrong because we don’t want to appear like a fool. We want to pretend like we we’ve done nothing wrong or don’t see any error in our words or actions, but in reality we are wrong, but our pride won’t permit us to say, “I apologize, I was wrong.” Pride is just like an ugly woman and pride ultimately is a lie. Pride hides our faults, our mistakes and our shortcomings, but it also hides the real us. Pride says, “I’m not apologizing.” Pride says, “Ya, I was wrong too, but I’m not going to apologize first.” Pride is damaging to all relationships and in order to become better human beings and better women we have to let go of the pride and put on the face of humility. The Bible says, “By pride comes nothing but strife”- confrontations, arguments, disputes and conflicts. The Bible also says, “Pride goes before destruction.” God can’t reach us when we don’t submit. We should never take on the attitude that, “My roses don’t stick”- because they do. Being humble allows us to be open and allow us to review ourselves. When we are prideful we lack the ability to actually look inside ourselves and make any real positive changes. Pride always points the finger, not realizing 3 fingers are pointing back at us. We must really examine our pride and ask the question, “What is my pride covering up?” For me, pride is the way I cover up my sensitivity, insecurity and shortcomings. I still struggle with the false belief that being aggressive, mean or uncompromising constitutes for strength. Being uncompromising, lacking submission and being rough and tough is not strength, it is weakness in disguise. We cannot believe that responding in a rude way, having a bad attitude, being uncompromising, aggressive and/or prideful means we’re strong neither does it mean people won’t be able to take advantage of us or that we won’t get hurt.
Many of us women are really sensitive and soft inside (and that’s not a bad thing) and there is a little girl in each of us. A lot of times that sensitive little girl got hurt or betrayed in childhood and now in order to supposedly, “prevent” being hurt or taken advantage of we respond to people and our men in a rude way, become difficult and unkind all to prove that were “strong” and were not “pushovers”. Let’s put down the walls, the attitudes and the guards and the “strong black women” façade and be who we really are- considerate, loving and kind. Many of us may be covering up our vulnerability by being rough and tough- let’s stop it! It takes strength and inner-security to submit, to compromise, to listen and acknowledge our flaws and to be kind. It takes strength and inner- security to admit that you are wrong and that you are a work in progress. So ask yourself, what is your pride covering up?
Next time our man tells us something, instead of coping an attitude maybe we should say,”Ok” and give his suggestion a try. Next time we’re wrong instead of thinking, “Well, he was wrong too”- let’s apologize first. Humility is all about being open to praise and criticism. At first when I heard these allegations from black men, I was appalled and said, “No we black women are not like that!” (Pride). But upon further review of the play their complaints, unfortunately held some validity. Let’s review ourselves and asks ourselves could this prideful woman be me?
Say it loud, “I’m a black woman and I’m humble”.
Peace, Miss Deliverance
Monday, December 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
"DADDY ROOTS"
Disclaimer: If you are one of the many women who have been blessed to have a loving, caring, emotionally healthy father, sorry this is not for you. I am happy that your father was present and whole, but this is for all the women who still suffer or suffered from dysfunctional “Daddy roots”- absent, emotionally absent, passive or abusive (physically, verbally, emotionally) fathers.
Yesterday I decided to call my ex-boyfriend for a specific reason. We were catching up for a little bit, talking about different topics, future goals and other "conscious theories" and then I decided to do what I must do. I apologized. I apologized for being stubborn, not willing to compromise, or listen to him. I apologized for being rude, not always treating him with respect and having a bad attitude at times. He told me," It's was coo and we were young, and that I didn't have to apologize." We talked a little bit longer and than we got off the phone. I felt like a recovering alcoholic- I had completed step 9- I had made amends for my past errors and mistakes. The reason why I was so stubborn and unwilling to compromise had a lot to do with my beliefs about men, based off my father. Maybe you can relate, Read on...
Every living thing has a foundation; every living thing has roots. We are here because a man and a woman created us through sex. A tree can only grow and bear apples, oranges or lemons because it has roots. Every living thing must have a foundation in order to become fully into being. We women must go back to our roots to truly understand our relationships with men. Since the first relationship with a man is our father, we must go back to that relationship in order to fully understand how and why we relate to me in the ways we do.
Unfortunately many women have no “Daddy roots” at all. That is to say many of us women have had absent fathers. Many fathers were either absent physically from the home or emotionally (or both in many cases). Emotionally absent fathers are fathers who are in the home but they’re not “present”. A father who is emotionally absent does not display his feelings, show affection, show tenderness or shows that he cares (although he might). Women who grow up with an emotionally absent father might find themselves in a relationship with a man who does not show them love, care or reveal any real feelings- just like their daddy. Or these women might be with a man who is over-emotional and being with this type of man is like being on an emotional roller coaster. Women who experience emotionally absent fathers are really at a lost when it comes to relating to men.
Not only are the daughters of emotionally absent fathers at a lost but so are the women who grown up without fathers physically in the home. Many of us women who grow up without “Daddy” are ignorant about how men should treat us or speak to us. Growing up with daddy in the home allows a little girl to practice and experience relating to a man. When your father is absent you completely miss out on that male/ female interaction. Women who experience the absence of their father might develop a belief system that all men will leave them eventually (as their father’s left their mother’s). This belief system can be damaging when a woman enters into an intimate relationship with a man. A woman who holds the belief system that, “he’s only around temporarily” might not give her all in a relationship and/or might not compromise. That is to say she might hold back on revealing herself or she might not give her emotions and heart away to a man out of the fear that “he’s going to leave me eventually.” The woman with this belief system might also cheat on her man because she with holds her feelings and emotions from him. If a woman holds this type of belief system in relation to men she might also think, “I will leave him before he leaves me.” This type of thought system can be dangerous because she could develop a tendency to run from a relationship when it gets rocky. A woman with an absent father might also develop the belief system that, "I don't need a man, I can do it by myself (like their mothers)" In reality we DO need men and men need women. We have to let go of our pride and realize we do need men and because we need men, this does not make us weak! I speak of all these things because I have held all of these belief systems in relation to men, because my father was absent. Because my father was absent I developed a belief that, “he’s only here temporarily- how long until he leaves me?” This belief caused me to leave a relationship if I felt the slightest possibility of break up. In my mind I was going to break up with you before you could leave me. Because my father was absent I also developed a belief system that told me to hold back, to not reveal all of myself to him, to not invest too much into this relationship because it’s only temporary. Now, really, how could I build a real relationship or even a marriage with such a belief system?
Women who have no roots (absent fathers) must observe and learn from the mistakes of their mothers, sisters, aunties and friends and choose to relate to men in a different way. All is not loss for the woman with no roots because God exist! We women can ask God to teach us how to relate to men, how to be sensitive to his ego, how to show him respect and how to give and receive in balance. We can also ask God to show us how a man should speak to us, how he should treat us, and what characteristics really matter- integrity, honesty, intelligence and a sincere love for who we are. God can and will answers prayers. If we sincerely want to be better and our willing to change God can and will reveal how we should be treated by a man and vies versa. We women of absent fathers must remember that our fathers were never really absent because God, our Father has always been present in our lives.
There are many women who have grown up without their fathers, but there are many women who grew up with their fathers. These women may have their own separate issues with men. Women who grew up with their fathers must ask themselves, “How do I feel about my father?” “What did my father teach me about men?” Some women have had a father in the home, but he never gave of himself. Maybe your father bought you “stuff” but never showed you any real love or care. Subconsciously or consciously you may have come to believe a man that loves you buys you “stuff” but never gives of himself. Or maybe you had a father who you considered “weak or passive” because your mother played the head role in the home. Now you might find yourself with a man who lets you “run the show” but you don’t respect him. Or maybe you had a passive father and now you can’t stand a passive man, so now you date men who are overly aggressive. Maybe you are the woman who grew up with a physically or emotionally abusive father. You might have learned consciously or subconsciously that a man shows you love by beating you, calling you out your name or degrading you verbally. You might have no idea what love is, so you gravitate to abusive, insecure, controlling men because that’s familiar to you. No matter the “type” of father you had we could all use healing from inadequate “daddy roots”.
I believe the first step for all women who suffered from the lack of daddy roots or dysfunctional daddy roots is forgiveness. Whether your father was absent, passive or abusive we must forgive our fathers. Forgiveness is the only way to wholeness and healing. If we struggle in this area we have to pray to God until we truly let go and forgive our fathers. After we forgive we must examine our internal thought belief systems about men. These thoughts may be the ones we never say aloud but they exist deep in our subconscious and deep in your heart. If we have negative belief systems about men based off our fathers- we must LET THEM GO! We must also let go of our pride and stop pretending like we women "don't need a man." We must also realize we don’t know every man in the world, and every man is not like our father. Once we have forgiven our fathers and released our negative belief systems about men we have to replace them with positive ones. This will not be easy and it will take time, but it is worthwhile. Let’s be open to changing ourselves, our beliefs, let go of our pride and allow our hearts to be open to that good man we’ve always wanted. When you go back to your daddy roots and examine those deep beliefs systems about men you can begin to heal at the foundation and re-grow new roots. Examine your thoughts and your feelings about your own father and men in general and be willing to change. Be true to yourself.
Peace, Miss Deliverance
Yesterday I decided to call my ex-boyfriend for a specific reason. We were catching up for a little bit, talking about different topics, future goals and other "conscious theories" and then I decided to do what I must do. I apologized. I apologized for being stubborn, not willing to compromise, or listen to him. I apologized for being rude, not always treating him with respect and having a bad attitude at times. He told me," It's was coo and we were young, and that I didn't have to apologize." We talked a little bit longer and than we got off the phone. I felt like a recovering alcoholic- I had completed step 9- I had made amends for my past errors and mistakes. The reason why I was so stubborn and unwilling to compromise had a lot to do with my beliefs about men, based off my father. Maybe you can relate, Read on...
Every living thing has a foundation; every living thing has roots. We are here because a man and a woman created us through sex. A tree can only grow and bear apples, oranges or lemons because it has roots. Every living thing must have a foundation in order to become fully into being. We women must go back to our roots to truly understand our relationships with men. Since the first relationship with a man is our father, we must go back to that relationship in order to fully understand how and why we relate to me in the ways we do.
Unfortunately many women have no “Daddy roots” at all. That is to say many of us women have had absent fathers. Many fathers were either absent physically from the home or emotionally (or both in many cases). Emotionally absent fathers are fathers who are in the home but they’re not “present”. A father who is emotionally absent does not display his feelings, show affection, show tenderness or shows that he cares (although he might). Women who grow up with an emotionally absent father might find themselves in a relationship with a man who does not show them love, care or reveal any real feelings- just like their daddy. Or these women might be with a man who is over-emotional and being with this type of man is like being on an emotional roller coaster. Women who experience emotionally absent fathers are really at a lost when it comes to relating to men.
Not only are the daughters of emotionally absent fathers at a lost but so are the women who grown up without fathers physically in the home. Many of us women who grow up without “Daddy” are ignorant about how men should treat us or speak to us. Growing up with daddy in the home allows a little girl to practice and experience relating to a man. When your father is absent you completely miss out on that male/ female interaction. Women who experience the absence of their father might develop a belief system that all men will leave them eventually (as their father’s left their mother’s). This belief system can be damaging when a woman enters into an intimate relationship with a man. A woman who holds the belief system that, “he’s only around temporarily” might not give her all in a relationship and/or might not compromise. That is to say she might hold back on revealing herself or she might not give her emotions and heart away to a man out of the fear that “he’s going to leave me eventually.” The woman with this belief system might also cheat on her man because she with holds her feelings and emotions from him. If a woman holds this type of belief system in relation to men she might also think, “I will leave him before he leaves me.” This type of thought system can be dangerous because she could develop a tendency to run from a relationship when it gets rocky. A woman with an absent father might also develop the belief system that, "I don't need a man, I can do it by myself (like their mothers)" In reality we DO need men and men need women. We have to let go of our pride and realize we do need men and because we need men, this does not make us weak! I speak of all these things because I have held all of these belief systems in relation to men, because my father was absent. Because my father was absent I developed a belief that, “he’s only here temporarily- how long until he leaves me?” This belief caused me to leave a relationship if I felt the slightest possibility of break up. In my mind I was going to break up with you before you could leave me. Because my father was absent I also developed a belief system that told me to hold back, to not reveal all of myself to him, to not invest too much into this relationship because it’s only temporary. Now, really, how could I build a real relationship or even a marriage with such a belief system?
Women who have no roots (absent fathers) must observe and learn from the mistakes of their mothers, sisters, aunties and friends and choose to relate to men in a different way. All is not loss for the woman with no roots because God exist! We women can ask God to teach us how to relate to men, how to be sensitive to his ego, how to show him respect and how to give and receive in balance. We can also ask God to show us how a man should speak to us, how he should treat us, and what characteristics really matter- integrity, honesty, intelligence and a sincere love for who we are. God can and will answers prayers. If we sincerely want to be better and our willing to change God can and will reveal how we should be treated by a man and vies versa. We women of absent fathers must remember that our fathers were never really absent because God, our Father has always been present in our lives.
There are many women who have grown up without their fathers, but there are many women who grew up with their fathers. These women may have their own separate issues with men. Women who grew up with their fathers must ask themselves, “How do I feel about my father?” “What did my father teach me about men?” Some women have had a father in the home, but he never gave of himself. Maybe your father bought you “stuff” but never showed you any real love or care. Subconsciously or consciously you may have come to believe a man that loves you buys you “stuff” but never gives of himself. Or maybe you had a father who you considered “weak or passive” because your mother played the head role in the home. Now you might find yourself with a man who lets you “run the show” but you don’t respect him. Or maybe you had a passive father and now you can’t stand a passive man, so now you date men who are overly aggressive. Maybe you are the woman who grew up with a physically or emotionally abusive father. You might have learned consciously or subconsciously that a man shows you love by beating you, calling you out your name or degrading you verbally. You might have no idea what love is, so you gravitate to abusive, insecure, controlling men because that’s familiar to you. No matter the “type” of father you had we could all use healing from inadequate “daddy roots”.
I believe the first step for all women who suffered from the lack of daddy roots or dysfunctional daddy roots is forgiveness. Whether your father was absent, passive or abusive we must forgive our fathers. Forgiveness is the only way to wholeness and healing. If we struggle in this area we have to pray to God until we truly let go and forgive our fathers. After we forgive we must examine our internal thought belief systems about men. These thoughts may be the ones we never say aloud but they exist deep in our subconscious and deep in your heart. If we have negative belief systems about men based off our fathers- we must LET THEM GO! We must also let go of our pride and stop pretending like we women "don't need a man." We must also realize we don’t know every man in the world, and every man is not like our father. Once we have forgiven our fathers and released our negative belief systems about men we have to replace them with positive ones. This will not be easy and it will take time, but it is worthwhile. Let’s be open to changing ourselves, our beliefs, let go of our pride and allow our hearts to be open to that good man we’ve always wanted. When you go back to your daddy roots and examine those deep beliefs systems about men you can begin to heal at the foundation and re-grow new roots. Examine your thoughts and your feelings about your own father and men in general and be willing to change. Be true to yourself.
Peace, Miss Deliverance
Friday, December 11, 2009
That's A Good Man!
THAT’S A GOOD MAN!
“Behind every Good Black Man are 5 women who wished they had given him a chance!” Miss D.
Why do we women wish for something when we really don’t believe it’s going to come true? Why do we hope for something that will never come into being? Why do we pray with the absence of expectation? What are we really afraid of? I’ve met countless women who say that they want a “good man” who is “God-fearing”, respectful, smart, loves their kids, nurtures them emotionally, spiritually and materially (yes we women can be a tad bit materialistic) kind-hearted, loving and giving. Now, let’s be realistic, a man can have many of the qualities just described but he will definitely have his flaws; as all humans do. However, when we find a man who is good to us (even with his flaws) and truly loves us; why in the hell do we become afraid?
We say we want a “good man” but do we really? I’ve seen many women trade their “good man” in for a man who brings them excitement for a season. So ladies, do we really want a good man or do we want a man that makes us feel good temporarily? I’ve seen the man with no ability to love, disrespectful, emotionally immature, rude, inconsiderate and selfish with the successful, determined, empathetic, giving, loving wife (not to say she does not have her flaws). I wonder, how did he get her? Did she settle? Was she once approached by a few good men in her life time? I think one of the main reasons we women turn down a good man is because he may not come in the package we expect him to come in. Maybe he isn’t 6’ 4” with dark chocolate Morris Chestnut skin and a Mercedes Benz. Maybe he isn’t making 6 figures a year or maybe your good man isn’t even black? Whatever the reason(s) we have all turned down good men and now we’re sitting here looking at sorry Joe Blow saying, “Damn, I should have gave so and so a try!”
We have to look inside ourselves and be honest. We might need to ask ourselves, “Why am I afraid of being treated with respect, love and dignity?” “Do I believe I am are worthy of a man’s love?” Do we truly believe we deserve the best? How have we been programmed to believe/feel we should be treated by a man based off our first relationship with a male-our fathers’? I know from my own personal experience I have turned down good men simply because I believed he should have been slightly more attractive. I have turned down a good man because his body should have had a little more of an athletic built in my opinion. The reality was I was shallow (although I thought I was the “deepest” sista’ around) and deep down inside I doubted if a man could really love me and I doubted if I could actually love a good man in return. I’m not for sure, but I believe that these good men I have turned down have gone on to be with great women who truly appreciate them. I didn’t know how to appreciate a good man because I was so caught up on the physical/surface and all that got me was more men I really didn’t like or men I really didn’t need in my life.
Women next time you find a possible good man don’t be so quick to dismiss him because of surface reasons. You might want to re-consider and ask yourself, “Am I focusing on the surface? Does he have a good heart? Do I believe I deserve to be loved in the right way? Does he treat me like a queen even though he only makes 38,000 dollars a year?” One thing I am for sure, that fine man will turn ugly real fast if he doesn’t treat you right. Be true to yourself and when you ask God for that “good man”, believe he will come, but not in the package you might expect.
Peace, Miss Deliverance
“Behind every Good Black Man are 5 women who wished they had given him a chance!” Miss D.
Why do we women wish for something when we really don’t believe it’s going to come true? Why do we hope for something that will never come into being? Why do we pray with the absence of expectation? What are we really afraid of? I’ve met countless women who say that they want a “good man” who is “God-fearing”, respectful, smart, loves their kids, nurtures them emotionally, spiritually and materially (yes we women can be a tad bit materialistic) kind-hearted, loving and giving. Now, let’s be realistic, a man can have many of the qualities just described but he will definitely have his flaws; as all humans do. However, when we find a man who is good to us (even with his flaws) and truly loves us; why in the hell do we become afraid?
We say we want a “good man” but do we really? I’ve seen many women trade their “good man” in for a man who brings them excitement for a season. So ladies, do we really want a good man or do we want a man that makes us feel good temporarily? I’ve seen the man with no ability to love, disrespectful, emotionally immature, rude, inconsiderate and selfish with the successful, determined, empathetic, giving, loving wife (not to say she does not have her flaws). I wonder, how did he get her? Did she settle? Was she once approached by a few good men in her life time? I think one of the main reasons we women turn down a good man is because he may not come in the package we expect him to come in. Maybe he isn’t 6’ 4” with dark chocolate Morris Chestnut skin and a Mercedes Benz. Maybe he isn’t making 6 figures a year or maybe your good man isn’t even black? Whatever the reason(s) we have all turned down good men and now we’re sitting here looking at sorry Joe Blow saying, “Damn, I should have gave so and so a try!”
We have to look inside ourselves and be honest. We might need to ask ourselves, “Why am I afraid of being treated with respect, love and dignity?” “Do I believe I am are worthy of a man’s love?” Do we truly believe we deserve the best? How have we been programmed to believe/feel we should be treated by a man based off our first relationship with a male-our fathers’? I know from my own personal experience I have turned down good men simply because I believed he should have been slightly more attractive. I have turned down a good man because his body should have had a little more of an athletic built in my opinion. The reality was I was shallow (although I thought I was the “deepest” sista’ around) and deep down inside I doubted if a man could really love me and I doubted if I could actually love a good man in return. I’m not for sure, but I believe that these good men I have turned down have gone on to be with great women who truly appreciate them. I didn’t know how to appreciate a good man because I was so caught up on the physical/surface and all that got me was more men I really didn’t like or men I really didn’t need in my life.
Women next time you find a possible good man don’t be so quick to dismiss him because of surface reasons. You might want to re-consider and ask yourself, “Am I focusing on the surface? Does he have a good heart? Do I believe I deserve to be loved in the right way? Does he treat me like a queen even though he only makes 38,000 dollars a year?” One thing I am for sure, that fine man will turn ugly real fast if he doesn’t treat you right. Be true to yourself and when you ask God for that “good man”, believe he will come, but not in the package you might expect.
Peace, Miss Deliverance
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