PURE GOLD

Disclaimer- If you are a good black man this is not for you but it could be for your brother, your uncle, your nephew or your daddy… then again it might be for you… Read on

When I look at the black family today I wonder, “Why?” Why are nearly 70% of black children growing up in a single-parent household? (the majority of these households are female-headed) Why are so many brothers in jail? Why are so many black men willing to be baby fathers but not husbands? Why do so many black men leave and allow their children to be raised by a woman alone? I wonder, “Do black men know their value?” When I look at the state of black men overall the answer is overwhelmingly, “No”.

I come from a single-female headed household and my parents were married for a number of years but once they were divorced my mother raised 5 children by herself, but why? Did my father know his value? Did he know that his presence would have been more valuable than money, riches and gold? Did he know that he gives his children their self-esteem? Did he know that he was to lead his family? Did he know that he was the head of the family and when the head is missing from the body, the body dies? No he did not. Not only did my father not know his value, many black men just don’t know how valuable they are to their families, their children, their communities and to the world.

I think one of the main reasons why black men are unaware of their value is because society tells them that they are not valuable. Indeed the black man is the ideal sexual mate- tall, dark and handsome and he is the ideal athlete but besides the ideal sexual/athletic man society says black men are dispensable. You see black men dominating the most popular professional sports be it basketball or football and we all know the myths of the “well-endowed” brother. These two images get ingrained into the psyche of society and unfortunately these images get ingrained into the minds of young black boys. Once these images/ideals of black male hood become ingrained (consciously or unconsciously) into black boys many of them come to believe that they only have value as a black man if they are a professional ball player or having sex with as many women as is humanly possible. No one is instructing these young black boys that their value exist because they are to be men. Men take care and provide for their families. Men raise their daughters and sons so they don’t become lost adults. Men stay out of jail because their families are depending on them. Men are more than athletes and sex icons. Men are to provide and protect their families. Men build nations, but unfortunately in America too many black men fill prisons, stay on probation or parole. America sees no value in black men, but we see your value. Black men must know that their value is in manhood even if society does not.

Another reason why black men have lost their sense of value is because black fathers are not there and because they are absent they cannot teach their sons how valuable they are. This is evident by the black male on black male crime/murders you see prevailing in America. Many black men do not have value or respect for their own lives nor the lives of other black men. When a black boy grows up without his father he misses out on a million lessons and one of those lessons is the value and the role he must take as a man. Many black boys never learn that they are to lead the direction of their families. Many black men still believe their value rest in between their legs because their fathers were not there to teach them otherwise; but being male and being a man are two different things. For the men who grew up without their fathers make sure the cycle of absent fathers ends with you if and when you have your own children.
Listen black men, like Jill Scott said, “We need you, sometimes so hard to say.” Truly we need you to know that you are valuable, irreplaceable and necessary. We will raise our children on our own if we have to but we need you too. Black men you provide stability, security and self-esteem for your children. You provide love, security, support, companionship, motivation, direction, perspective, affection, comfort and strength to your girlfriends and wives. We need you and more importantly we need you to know your value so you can once again assume your rightful place at home and in the world. Brothers we need you to know that you are more valuable than “pure gold.”

With Love, Miss Deliverance