About three months ago I met up with my mother at her job. We were going to go to lunch but before that she wanted me to come inside and meet some of her co-workers. That day I had on my Lisa Raye (all white) outfit, some white pants and a white tank top and some white sandals and some basketball wives earrings (big and long)- I was looking fly! My mother takes me to the break room and she introduces me to some of her female co-workers. The first woman looks me up and down and gave me the complete "stank eye". "Nice to meet you" she says.
"Nice to me you too." I ignore her stank look and my mother introduces me to another woman, "Hello nice to meet you" she looks me up and down. I ignore her stank eyes and me and my mother go to lunch. I was shocked that these women (and many other women) were so stank and rude. They didn't even know me but gave me a look like I had slept with their husbands. Instead of saying, "Oh you look so nice today" they gave me the evil eye.
Women we have to be real with ourselves and understand there are always going to be beautiful women around. We cannot let our insecurity cause us to be rude and stank to each other. It takes security within to say, "Girl you are rocking that outfit". Too many times we are in competition with each other and we feel threatened when a woman comes in with a beautiful face, outfit or hair style. We have to understand we are NOT in competition with each other and it takes nothing away from us to give another woman a compliment.
Women, this has to stop! We have to stop looking other woman up and down. Let's stop giving each other the stank eye. If another woman is looking fly, if she has some bomb shoes on or a cute hair style, tell her instead of looking her up and down. It's not hard to give another woman a compliment and who knows, your compliment could make her day. It's easier to give a woman a compliment than to give her the stank eye. Please let's stop the petty, mean, up and down, hating, evil/stank eye looks to other women, why? Because we are better than that!
"The Arabic word al-‘ayn (translated as the evil eye) refers to when a person harms another with his eye. It starts when the person likes a thing, then his evil feelings affect it, by means of his repeated looking at the object of his
jealousy..." Salaamu Alyckum
LOL!!
With Love, Miss D.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
No Victims
God created no victims, not I, nor you... So what are you going to do?
She believes she is a victim, powerless, helpless, no control over her body, mind, thoughts or actions. And now everybody owes her something!
But God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what is she going to do?
Maybe you were raped, what are you going to do?
Maybe your mother was addicted to drugs and men, what are you going to do?
Maybe your father was a dead beat dad, what are you going to do?
Maybe you were physically abused, what are you going to do?
He is the victim, powerless, blaming everyone for his actions, she, them or they are the reason he loses his temper and beats his wife's ass.
He justifies his violent actions, believing He is this way because His father beat his mother's ass and his grandfather did the same thing to his grandmother.
He plays the victim, poor guy.
But God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what are you going to do?
Are you going to blame, deny that you still feel pain and say you are healed from your past, when you really are not?
Are you going to continue to blame other's, your parents, your environment for your weaknesses you choose not to work on?
When will you say, "Yes, this, this molestation, this divorce, this abuse, this thing happened to me, but I am not powerless!" I can choose to be better. Not because of I, but because of the God in I.
I hope one day all of those people who believe they are victims, all those people who feel sorry for themselves realize the lesson is not about being powerless, the lesson is not about blame.
The lesson of rape, molestation, divorce, abuse, neglect and heartbreak is not about staying angry, unforgiving or blaming. Nor is your lesson about saying, "poor me".
The lesson, my lesson, your lesson is about forgiving, giving, healing and empowering those that come behind you, accepting your past and realizing God created your life with purpose and NOTHING in your life has been a mistake.
Realizing all the love that you have been searching for, all the love that was taken from you is found in God...
God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what are we going to do?
Peace and Love, Miss Deliverance
She believes she is a victim, powerless, helpless, no control over her body, mind, thoughts or actions. And now everybody owes her something!
But God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what is she going to do?
Maybe you were raped, what are you going to do?
Maybe your mother was addicted to drugs and men, what are you going to do?
Maybe your father was a dead beat dad, what are you going to do?
Maybe you were physically abused, what are you going to do?
He is the victim, powerless, blaming everyone for his actions, she, them or they are the reason he loses his temper and beats his wife's ass.
He justifies his violent actions, believing He is this way because His father beat his mother's ass and his grandfather did the same thing to his grandmother.
He plays the victim, poor guy.
But God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what are you going to do?
Are you going to blame, deny that you still feel pain and say you are healed from your past, when you really are not?
Are you going to continue to blame other's, your parents, your environment for your weaknesses you choose not to work on?
When will you say, "Yes, this, this molestation, this divorce, this abuse, this thing happened to me, but I am not powerless!" I can choose to be better. Not because of I, but because of the God in I.
I hope one day all of those people who believe they are victims, all those people who feel sorry for themselves realize the lesson is not about being powerless, the lesson is not about blame.
The lesson of rape, molestation, divorce, abuse, neglect and heartbreak is not about staying angry, unforgiving or blaming. Nor is your lesson about saying, "poor me".
The lesson, my lesson, your lesson is about forgiving, giving, healing and empowering those that come behind you, accepting your past and realizing God created your life with purpose and NOTHING in your life has been a mistake.
Realizing all the love that you have been searching for, all the love that was taken from you is found in God...
God created no victims, not I, nor you, so what are we going to do?
Peace and Love, Miss Deliverance
Friday, March 4, 2011
Let no man seperate
When I would look back at my life I always had regret. Why did I have to grow up without my father? Why did we have to grow up poor? Why me? Why did I have to come from such a dysfunctional family history? Why? Why? Why? I always felt as if my life was robbed of something. I felt I missed out on having a daddy. I missed out on being "daddy's little girl". I missed out on gymnastics because my mother couldn't afford it. Poor, poor me. It was hard, very hard for me to accept my life because in my eyes my life should have been different, better.
On the contrary life has shown me that ALL experiences are for our good. All experiences are for our good if we learn the lessons. I have learned so many invaluable lessons from my own "regretful" life. I have learned how to treat people, what kind of man I want (and don't want) and what to repeat and what not to repeat. If all of my experiences are for my good and I believe they are then my life is not a tragedy, but a blessing. Indeed I did not miss out on anything. If anything I have gained. I gained wisdom, depth, forgiveness, hope, love, empathy, kindness and so much more. I have learned that God has placed a uniqueness in me; qualities in me that no experience could ever take away. God has given me intelligence, wisdom and a desire to be a better person and my absent father could not take that away from me because God joined those qualities in me. God has given me empathy, depth and intuition and my poverty could not take that away from me. What God has given you- be it wisdom, understanding, or something else, let no experience or person take that away from you, ever.
"What therefore God has joined together,let no man separate." Mark 10:9
Love, Miss D.
On the contrary life has shown me that ALL experiences are for our good. All experiences are for our good if we learn the lessons. I have learned so many invaluable lessons from my own "regretful" life. I have learned how to treat people, what kind of man I want (and don't want) and what to repeat and what not to repeat. If all of my experiences are for my good and I believe they are then my life is not a tragedy, but a blessing. Indeed I did not miss out on anything. If anything I have gained. I gained wisdom, depth, forgiveness, hope, love, empathy, kindness and so much more. I have learned that God has placed a uniqueness in me; qualities in me that no experience could ever take away. God has given me intelligence, wisdom and a desire to be a better person and my absent father could not take that away from me because God joined those qualities in me. God has given me empathy, depth and intuition and my poverty could not take that away from me. What God has given you- be it wisdom, understanding, or something else, let no experience or person take that away from you, ever.
"What therefore God has joined together,let no man separate." Mark 10:9
Love, Miss D.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Follow Your Soul...
When I heard this song it immediately resonated with me. "If I follow my soul, I will find my way..." When I listen to my soul it tells me things, things I am hesitant to do. My soul is telling me to let some things and people go. My soul is telling me that maybe my own career path is not the career path the Creator has for me. Yet when I think about God, the infinite intelligence it took to create my soul I realize that I must surrender to what my heart,mind and soul say. God's path is greater than my career path. God's choice is greater than my choice. Maybe your soul, your consciousness is telling or leading you somewhere. Somewhere your hesitant to go, but somehow you know it's the right way although you can't see all the pieces right now. Yet and still, follow your soul, your higher consciousness, the voice- not of reason, but of God. Follow your soul.
Following..., Miss D.
Following..., Miss D.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Walking by Faith, Not by Sight
“I found strength, courage and wisdom; it’s been inside of me all along.”
Sometimes God requires that we walk out on faith and “don’t ask no questions!” Sometimes God commands us to do something that we feel we are not ready to do or something we are afraid of doing. When God commands us to do something we must put the fear aside and do what we are told. Fear was not made for human consumption and the Bible says “For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
The other day God reminded me of my responsibility. God reminded me that I am to begin my woman’s discussion group- “Sacred Women”. Not only did God tell me to start the woman’s discussion group but to start it next week! Now, “God I’m not ready for all this, don’t you think you are moving a little fast? I need some more time. Am I really going be able to host my own woman’s discussion group?” These were my fearful thoughts but I did not focus on them. The next day I created flyers for my first woman’s discussion group. I began to pass out informational flyers even though I was nervous and afraid. We cannot let fear stop us from using our gifts and talents. God gave me a gift to speak and motivate and empower women and I MUST use the gift. If we sit on our gifts, our children will sit on their gifts as well. Stand up and work through the fear! We must remember that our gift is greater than our fear. We must remember that God is greater than fear. In order for us to transcend into the next level we must get out of our comfort zone.
Next Thursday I will have my first woman’s discussion group at my house. I have made a commitment to empower women but more importantly I have made a commitment to my gift and to my God. I will let you know how it goes…
“Now everyday I pray for strength, courage and wisdom; it’s been inside of me all along.” India Arie
With Love, Miss D. (This clip is just for fun- "Don't ask no questions!") LOL
Sometimes God requires that we walk out on faith and “don’t ask no questions!” Sometimes God commands us to do something that we feel we are not ready to do or something we are afraid of doing. When God commands us to do something we must put the fear aside and do what we are told. Fear was not made for human consumption and the Bible says “For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
The other day God reminded me of my responsibility. God reminded me that I am to begin my woman’s discussion group- “Sacred Women”. Not only did God tell me to start the woman’s discussion group but to start it next week! Now, “God I’m not ready for all this, don’t you think you are moving a little fast? I need some more time. Am I really going be able to host my own woman’s discussion group?” These were my fearful thoughts but I did not focus on them. The next day I created flyers for my first woman’s discussion group. I began to pass out informational flyers even though I was nervous and afraid. We cannot let fear stop us from using our gifts and talents. God gave me a gift to speak and motivate and empower women and I MUST use the gift. If we sit on our gifts, our children will sit on their gifts as well. Stand up and work through the fear! We must remember that our gift is greater than our fear. We must remember that God is greater than fear. In order for us to transcend into the next level we must get out of our comfort zone.
Next Thursday I will have my first woman’s discussion group at my house. I have made a commitment to empower women but more importantly I have made a commitment to my gift and to my God. I will let you know how it goes…
“Now everyday I pray for strength, courage and wisdom; it’s been inside of me all along.” India Arie
With Love, Miss D. (This clip is just for fun- "Don't ask no questions!") LOL
Friday, March 12, 2010
"I've Lost The Use of My Heart, but..."
When I heard Sade’s newest entitled single/album- “Solider of Love” I instantly loved it! I purchased the album soon after its release and I read the lyrics to myself. “I’ve lost the use of my heart, but I’m still alive… I’m a solider of love… I’ve been torn up inside (hoo) I’ve been left behind (hoo) Tall I ride I have the will to survive.” These lyrics resonated with my heart and in my spirit because I know all too well that love requires resilience. Love requires the ability to be “torn up inside” yet still, “have the will to survive”. We have all experienced heart break in one form or the other. We have all experienced “love and loss and loss of love” but “Tall we ride”. Love requires a soldier, a solider gets bruised and cut and stabbed, but a solider never gives up! I could so easily relate to this song because I’ve had my heart broken. I’ve been disappointed by my father, by men and supposed “friends” and even family members but I never gave up hope. I never felt hopeless about love. Deep in my spirit I knew that love was and is the only reason we exist! Romantic love, platonic love, brotherly love, friendship love- all forms of love are necessary and all forms of love come from God. We might have been hurt, disappointed, let down and broken hearted but we have to be resilient in love. We must know that love requires the mind, a resilient spirit; a courageous heart and we must know that our ultimate purpose is to love and be loved because God is Love.
This song is a reminder to all of us to be resilient in love. Maybe you’ve had your heart broken or maybe you’ve fallen out of love with your partner; maybe you’ve “lost the use of your heart” but if you’re “still alive” give love another chance. Never give up on love. Love never fails. Be a soldier for love.
Love, Miss D.
This song is a reminder to all of us to be resilient in love. Maybe you’ve had your heart broken or maybe you’ve fallen out of love with your partner; maybe you’ve “lost the use of your heart” but if you’re “still alive” give love another chance. Never give up on love. Love never fails. Be a soldier for love.
Love, Miss D.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
"Ummmm, Can I Get...?"
Have you ever went to the Jack n’ the Box drive thru and said, “Ummmmm, can I get ummmm… (mind goes blank)? You know that you’re hungry but you don’t know exactly what you want to eat. You repeat yourself, “Ummmmm, can I get a number… (mind goes blank again). Finally you tell the person taking your order, “Just a minute please.” The person on the other end says, “Order when you’re ready.” We have all done this and this is fine when you’re ordering your lunch but many of us women treat dating like a fast food drive thru. Let me explain…
Many of us women know we want to date/marry a “good” man so we jump into the dating world- symbolic for the drive thru window. When we get up to the “dating” window we realize we don’t know what we want or need from a man. We realize we have no standard or clear criteria for what we are looking for in a man/marriage partner. Maybe we should tell the person taking our order, “Just a minute please” but instead we date man after man and keep saying, “No, he’s not the one.” “No I don’t like that.” Or “No, I don’t want that.” Meanwhile we don’t know what we want and time waits for no man. Maybe we should drive away from the drive-thru window and “order when we’re ready”. Maybe we should re-enter the dating game when we know what we need and what we want instead of wasting our time and other people’s time as well; and besides there are 3 people behind you ready to order. Hurry up!
We have to know what we what and not what we don’t want.
It is best to take a step back from the dating game and first know what you are looking for in a man. Know what you need. In order to know your needs you must first know yourself! If you are an intelligent women you probably need a man to stimulate your mind so if you go out with Joe Blow and he doesn’t have any conversation- he’s not the one (even if he’s fine)! If you’re a sensitive woman you probably need a man who thinks before he speaks and carefully considers your feelings. With that said you may not mesh well with a man who is completely blunt and “tells it like it is”- he’s not the one!
We must know ourselves so we can know what we need/desire in a man. Personally I’m an aggressive yet sensitive type of woman so I need a man who can stand up to me, yet hears me out as well. So with that said I cannot date a man who is neither overly aggressive, nor passive. We have to know our needs and be honest with ourselves. When we know our needs we know who we are and then we can accurately choose the type of man we need to be with. We must be honest with ourselves and aware of what we truly need mentally, emotionally and spiritually from a man.
Next time you’re hungry and you find yourself in the drive-thru have your order ready- know what kind of man you want. Know what you want and how much it’s going to cost. Don’t waste your time or his time saying, “Ummmmm” when asked, “What are you looking for?” Know what you need, know what you want before you return to the dating game. So the next time the universe asks you, “May I take your order?” Instead of saying, “Ummmm, can I get…” Say, “Yes, I will need a man who is intelligent with a great sense of humor so he can feed my mind, a man that is ambitious and family-orientated because I need to respect my man, a man that is moral and spiritual because I need him to feed my spirit. I need a man who is caring, thoughtful and kind with a cherry on top please!” Maybe we should pause for a minute and, “Order when we’re ready.”
Peace, Miss Deliverance
Many of us women know we want to date/marry a “good” man so we jump into the dating world- symbolic for the drive thru window. When we get up to the “dating” window we realize we don’t know what we want or need from a man. We realize we have no standard or clear criteria for what we are looking for in a man/marriage partner. Maybe we should tell the person taking our order, “Just a minute please” but instead we date man after man and keep saying, “No, he’s not the one.” “No I don’t like that.” Or “No, I don’t want that.” Meanwhile we don’t know what we want and time waits for no man. Maybe we should drive away from the drive-thru window and “order when we’re ready”. Maybe we should re-enter the dating game when we know what we need and what we want instead of wasting our time and other people’s time as well; and besides there are 3 people behind you ready to order. Hurry up!
We have to know what we what and not what we don’t want.
It is best to take a step back from the dating game and first know what you are looking for in a man. Know what you need. In order to know your needs you must first know yourself! If you are an intelligent women you probably need a man to stimulate your mind so if you go out with Joe Blow and he doesn’t have any conversation- he’s not the one (even if he’s fine)! If you’re a sensitive woman you probably need a man who thinks before he speaks and carefully considers your feelings. With that said you may not mesh well with a man who is completely blunt and “tells it like it is”- he’s not the one!
We must know ourselves so we can know what we need/desire in a man. Personally I’m an aggressive yet sensitive type of woman so I need a man who can stand up to me, yet hears me out as well. So with that said I cannot date a man who is neither overly aggressive, nor passive. We have to know our needs and be honest with ourselves. When we know our needs we know who we are and then we can accurately choose the type of man we need to be with. We must be honest with ourselves and aware of what we truly need mentally, emotionally and spiritually from a man.
Next time you’re hungry and you find yourself in the drive-thru have your order ready- know what kind of man you want. Know what you want and how much it’s going to cost. Don’t waste your time or his time saying, “Ummmmm” when asked, “What are you looking for?” Know what you need, know what you want before you return to the dating game. So the next time the universe asks you, “May I take your order?” Instead of saying, “Ummmm, can I get…” Say, “Yes, I will need a man who is intelligent with a great sense of humor so he can feed my mind, a man that is ambitious and family-orientated because I need to respect my man, a man that is moral and spiritual because I need him to feed my spirit. I need a man who is caring, thoughtful and kind with a cherry on top please!” Maybe we should pause for a minute and, “Order when we’re ready.”
Peace, Miss Deliverance
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